i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
