Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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