bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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