i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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