i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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