Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
