He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
