I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize