Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My first STD was from a foam party
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
