im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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