My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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