I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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