im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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