Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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