READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
