My first STD was from a foam party
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
