just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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