What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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