I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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