So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
