i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
