Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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