I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
