did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
