at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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