some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
