Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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