It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
