I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
