So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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