I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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