White coat. Heels.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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