so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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