I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
