Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
