i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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