Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
