White coat. Heels.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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