I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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