It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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