I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
