i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
