He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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