Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
