Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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