Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I am spending my child support on dildos
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
