try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
