this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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