If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
So many bounce houses so little time
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
