We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
