wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
