Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I feel great
I just peed on a car
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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