so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
