On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
