it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
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