If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
