So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I have post one night stand depression
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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