these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
