You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
