Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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