just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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