i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
