Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
